Don't Be Araid to be a Parent

As a counselor, I meet with teens daily.  Over the past ten years, I've noticed that there are certain themes that come up consistently in those sessions.  Parents of teens appear to have difficulty with setting boundaries and consequences.  Why is that???  Parents, your teens need structure!!!  Without it, they will have an extremely difficult time developing into young adults.  Imagine if someone were to tell you to take a trip to Kalamazoo; however they didn't give you a map or GPS to use to get there.  Where would you start?  How would you know how to get there?  How would you know when you arrived?  It is the same thing that happens when we neglect to give our teens direction.  We expect them to turn out to be productive adults, but we're not giving them the directions that they need.  Don't let fear prevent you from being the parent that you were created to be.  The most successful young people that I meet, are those whose parents did not allow them to run things in the home.  These parents keep close tabs on their teens.  They monitor everything from their frienships and internet use, to what they watch on television.  They communicate with their teens frequently and they are not interested in being their friends.  Is this an easy thing to do each day?  Of course not.  Will you be exhausted some days and want to give in to their wines, moans and groans?  Sure you will, but we have to begin thinking long term--an art that's fading fast.  Ask yourself during those difficult times "how is this decision going to benefit my teen later in life?"  "What will they gain by allowing them some temporary freedom?"

Parenting is not for the faint at heart.  It requires a full time commitment.  You're on duty 24/7, but you can do it!  Don't be afraid.  Remember, think LONG TERM.  We need to make raising productive young adults a priority.  After all, it's our future that's in their hands!!!